'Happiness is a choice,' it's also a journey! It requires becoming conscious of how small things connect to a much bigger picture. It requires recognizing and correcting negative thought patterns, slowly eliminating negative habits and parting with toxic relationships with other people, places and things. It requires the occasional tune up and realignment. But most importantly, it requires us to know what truly makes us happy, choosing those things and sticking to them! This is what is meant by happiness is a choice.
Story time: For half a lifetime, I thought money would bring happiness, so I chased it. I missed so many milestones of my friends and family, holidays, birthdays, vacations because I was always at work. Eat, sleep, work, repeat. Then one day, I slumped down in my chair, realizing how much life I was missing at work, and thought: this can't be all there is to life! Why was I chasing the almighty dollar so hard if I had no time to enjoy it? All work and no play had made Gawa a dull girl. So, I started researching how to find happiness and purpose in life.
I had no idea why I was unhappy. I had a roof over my head, food on the table, a family and a career, but somehow, I just wasn't happy. I read somewhere in my research to try a gratitude journal for changing negative thought patterns, so of course, I tried it. It helped, but I felt like I had to make some real-life altering changes in order to recapture that feeling of loving life! So, one day out of sheer frustration, I made a list of grievances to the universe in my gratitude journal! The list covered A LOT of material! Big things like no time for family to petty things like shoes in the floor. Stepping back from a page filled with angrily scrawled out complaints, I began to see a pattern! Time, specifically a lack thereof, was the underlying theme. I remembered hearing myself say at least 10 times a day, "I don't have time" or "if I have time." I had been struggling for years to "make time" by getting up earlier like all the productivity coaches said I needed to.
So where was all of my time tied up? At work of course, this is America! I did some number crunching...
168 hours in a week
-50 hours at work
-14 hours in commute to and from work
-56 hours spent asleep
=48 hours for everything else!!
What kind of work/life balance is that? Then factor in the availability of family, friends, and facilities needed in order to engage in happy producing activities within that 48 hours. It just wasn't working. If you are an individual who is lucky enough to find happiness and fulfillment in your career, this post may not be for you. But if the picture I'm painting here is resonating, then keep reading!
I started to think about time, money and their link to happiness differently. I realized that I am not my job. My job is what I do. When we meet people for the first time we usually ask, "So, what do you do?" We use it as a way to define a person and their success. Ultimately as a society, we've grown to base our measurement of success on how successful we are at the thing we do. We've been unconsciously programmed to think this way. Why isn't the first thing we ask a person, "So, who are you?" Let that sink in. Can you even answer that question? I couldn't. My job, the thing I spent all of my time on, was only what I did, not who I was. This is why I was so unhappy. Outside of work, I had no idea who I was, what I liked, what sparked joy. So, I began to edit my life and shape it into something more enjoyable. I started reprogramming my thoughts, the way I defined happiness and success. I started building little rituals that spark joy into my day every day. I began to stop walking blindly, in auto pilot through my day to day. I started living mindful and with intention, every day. And most importantly, I started this blog as a tool to help shed some light in the dark for you. If you have found this post in the sea of blogs out there, I'm sure your journey is just beginning! Keep going!
Much Light & Love,
Gawa